Sick!

It was a good weekend but a rough ending. The last night RoughNut called out for me and said he missed his mommy. 😦 I gave him a hug and told him I was sorry. Then asked if he wanted me to stay beside him till he fell asleep. He said yes! Made me feel special, so I rubbed his back till he was settled. All the while little Hiccup was screaming and Jones was having very little luck calming her. As soon as I picked her up she was happy! Also made me feel special. Then throughout the night ToughNut was coughing and choking and waking up. After all this we had to get up before the sun (like hours before the sun) because relative wanted to pick them up before buses came and get them ready at her house! It was rough come Monday. I have gotten sick and am exhausted. Turns out ToughNut has croup. :/ praying for her. And meanwhile my wonderful sister in law has taken my three for the night so I can rest. Praise God for her servant heart!

Third Transition Visit

Thanksgiving has come and gone. We enjoyed visits with all our family. Hiccup has met almost everyone. That’s what happens when a baby comes home the week before a holiday.

Things are going smoothly around here. Having a newborn has been a transition for all of us but it was an easy one.

As far as decisions being made, non have been. We will continue to have weekend transition visits until February of next year. Hiccup will stay with us until tummy mommy get her act together.

We are in the midst of our third weekend with Rough Nut and Tough Nut. Our first weekend with only the children and no relative. It has gone really well! Bedtime is the trickiest part and that went down with no trouble at all. This visit is also the first with Hiccup and the first time they have met their new sister! It has been full of precious moments that should have been shared only with a mom and dad. I hope they realize what they are missing and that it will help them get their lives straightened out. There have been several awkward questions because of this odd situation. “When do we get to take her home?” And ” she probably thinks your her mommy” “how long have you had her?” I haven’t felt prepared to answer all of these questions with well thought out answers. It is strange/sensitive territory. I will be praying that God will give me the words as these questions I am sure will continue to pop up.

We feel so blessed. I cannot not be in awe when I think about the fact that we had a newborn delivered to our front door! God has been preparing me for this since I was a preteen!

Update

We have little Hiccup! Actually it has been four complete days now. She was brought to our house Thursday morning. She is beautiful! Seems very healthy, surprisingly. And so began my Moby wearing, bottle prepping, tiny pink stuff sorting days. We are all in love with her. We will Cherish each and every day God entrusts us with her.

We were supposed to have Rough Nut and Tough Nut here this weekend as well. Due to illness that has been delayed till next weekend. This coming Tuesday is court to decide if they will be place with us or not. I am glad I will be very distracted this week while waiting to hear what happens.

This week holds lots of appointments. Wic, dr., visitation, court dates, speech, therapy, case worker visits, agency visit and possibly the placement of the siblings which will be the beginning of more apt.. This is the name of the game. Praying for God’s help is dealing with a wild schedule in the next couple of weeks.

Calm in the house

There is a calm in the house today. There is still a few things to do but my son has finished his school work and is counting the days since Halloween so he can see how long he has had his candy. The girls are taking a bath and have finished their school work too. I have cleaned the down stairs and Jones has left for work. The house is quiet & calm like the calm that comes before a storm.

We found out Tuesday that baby was born. No complications and no withdrawal symptoms! Also baby was thought to be a boy but no she is a girl. We have been told to expect her Thursday night when she is released from the hospital.

I have had a fun couple of days getting everything ready. Buying a few pink things and telling a few close friends. A couple of them are washing all their baby hand me downs and sending them my way. Another close friend stopped by this morning with a bag full of wipes and diaper cream and a big box of diaper!

Meanwhile we have heard the court date for Rough Nut and Tough Nut is today and there is court tomorrow morning concerning the baby. So this calm in the house is not going to last long. I have a feeling tomorrow will bring a storm of change.

Reunification vs. adoption

I can feel already this strange balance you have to have between working with family towards reunification and doing what’s best for the children when that is adoption. I have been reading so many foster care blogs trying to give myself as much knowledge of how this system works as possible. It seems to me and many others that it isn’t always doing what is in the best interests of the children. I can see that I will have to work hard to bite my tongue when it seems the courts are making all the wrong decisions.

In our present situation I already have mixed feelings. On The one hand I can see that there is a place with family where the children will be taken care of. On the other hand what happens when the baby comes? How could they reasonably care for this baby the way he needs it and what happens in ten years when 70’s are 80’s and these children are still in need of protection and involvement? In my mind when I imagine relative handling the children and new baby I see him with propped bottles and being left in cars seats or crib instead of being held. I see nights being way too exhausting for her and the children suffering because of it. There just isn’t enough support. I see them growing up in a home with little structure and lack of boundaries. I see three babes that will never know what a proper mom or dad aught to be.

What I can see already is that we could offer all bio family a better situation all the way around but will court see that? Will relatives see that? Will bio parents see that? I don’t know.

As long as the goal is reunification I will keep these thought here and in my own head. I will encourage bio parents any chance I get. I will pray for them and family and the children. I know that sometimes this will be hard. I trust God’s plan. I will pray for that trust to grow stronger as our love for these three grows.

Waiting is hard

We have nine days till court. We are four days past the due day with no word. Waiting is not easy. I told Jones yesterday that I feel like a pregnant woman trying to ignore my massive over due belly, it isn’t really possible yet it feels like the best way to protect my heart and my family. We are so excited to help, so eager to love these children. But there is a fog all around us right now and we can’t see what’s on the other side. In a matter of days we could have a new born in our house and in about the same time table we could also have two more. I total of 6 children. How is it possible to stop myself from preparing for this?! But I know the likely hood that we will have neither children nor baby I can hardly do my regular daily routine. I am praying for happy distractions while we wait. I am begging for any distraction if we end up with less that a car full.