Reunification vs. adoption

I can feel already this strange balance you have to have between working with family towards reunification and doing what’s best for the children when that is adoption. I have been reading so many foster care blogs trying to give myself as much knowledge of how this system works as possible. It seems to me and many others that it isn’t always doing what is in the best interests of the children. I can see that I will have to work hard to bite my tongue when it seems the courts are making all the wrong decisions.

In our present situation I already have mixed feelings. On The one hand I can see that there is a place with family where the children will be taken care of. On the other hand what happens when the baby comes? How could they reasonably care for this baby the way he needs it and what happens in ten years when 70’s are 80’s and these children are still in need of protection and involvement? In my mind when I imagine relative handling the children and new baby I see him with propped bottles and being left in cars seats or crib instead of being held. I see nights being way too exhausting for her and the children suffering because of it. There just isn’t enough support. I see them growing up in a home with little structure and lack of boundaries. I see three babes that will never know what a proper mom or dad aught to be.

What I can see already is that we could offer all bio family a better situation all the way around but will court see that? Will relatives see that? Will bio parents see that? I don’t know.

As long as the goal is reunification I will keep these thought here and in my own head. I will encourage bio parents any chance I get. I will pray for them and family and the children. I know that sometimes this will be hard. I trust God’s plan. I will pray for that trust to grow stronger as our love for these three grows.


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