Surprise weekend of 6

I haven’t been blogging quite as often. I have felt like I needed to try to absorb as much as I can while we are still mommy and daddy to little Hiccup. She is growing so fast now and doing so much. Rolling and giggles, talking and playing with her toys, having her own sweet preferences about how she is fed and how she sleeps. I love watching as her little personality emerges.

Our surprise weekend of six is in full swing! Got a call two nights ago from relative asking if we could keep the kids for a long weekend. A sudden family emergency gave them need for so help and we are thrilled to able to. I spent my day driving here and there for visits and picking everyone up from school. Then we had a fun afternoon together.

It has been so easy to have them this time. All the pressure is off and most of the rules that are sometimes unnatural when you are a foster family don’t apply now that they are out of the system and we are just friends/family. It has given me such pure delight to just enjoy and love these sweet hearts. It also still causes my heart to ache seeing how easily we all fit together as a family. I try not to linger on that thought though and just praise God he is allowing us to play even a small role in their lives.

The only other thing that is going on is that we have court in a little less than two weeks. We have been told two different expected out comes now and so I find myself in that same familiar feeling of being in the dark. The judge has all the power and who knows what he will decide. We may be spending our last precious moments with our little Hiccup….or not.

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Staying involved after they leave

This past weekend visit with Rough Nut and Tough Nut since their case was closed. It went well enough. It is a little odd switching from possible parent to “friend”. I am so glad that we have this opportunity to still be apart of their life though! We will be having them over for “play dates” at least a couple times a month and have offered to help out anytime relatives need help. This past week I have been rounding up clothes in their sizes to help out in that way. Dressing children is one of my favorite things to do so to get to still have a part in that for them is thrilling for me and helpful for relatives. Praising God for this bit of grace He is allowing us in this tough situation.

Little Hiccup is three months old!!!! Three months is such a big & little piece of her life. I am blessed and so grateful to have been able to be her momma during the first three months of her life.

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Life keeps happening

Even though things seem to be coming to a halt with little Hiccup’s case life keeps moving forward. The milestones are coming one right after the other this week! She is sleeping on her side now, way too cute! Teething has hit full speed ahead. Yesterday she rolled from her belly to her back three times! She is holding little toys now and manipulating them very well. Saw her pass her toy keys from one had to the other last night. I am so proud of all her little accomplishments! I am glad she is oblivious to all that is going on right now. This afternoon she sat in her high chair playing with her toys.

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What next?

Now that Jones and I are seeing the end of our first placement coming to and end we have to make some decisions. Right now we are licensed through an agency that specializes in therapeutic foster care. We went though them originally because we needed out classes to be flexible with Jones’ schedule. They have been fantastic! We love working with them. They really support us. The issue is that we have three younger children and want to foster/ adopt children younger than ours and preferably 2 and under. Our agency doesn’t get many calls for that kind of placement. We miraculously got little Hiccup because we were requested! That isn’t likely to happen again.

We are thinking we will stay put agency wise through the spring and possibly summer. We are not sure what to do after that if we still haven’t gotten a placement. We are talking about switching to state with no agency because that seems to be the only way to foster infants. Not sure how that works though. We have also considered embryo adoption! And domestic adoption!

We simply won’t know what to do till the time comes but we are thinking about it lots right now.

There are others!

The past couple of day people have been popping up out of the wood work who are traveling down the foster/ adopt road. A few right here on my dinky little blog. What?!? It is exciting to know there are others and amazing that anyone who take a moment to read my thoughts and to leave a comment. Blessed by both.

I will also say that having this outlet and a local group of fellow foster parents is a huge encouragement. If you can find a local group of like minded foster parents….do it and share the journey, they are the ones who can understand and share in your joy and pain.

This is Not right.

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We have sort of been told that little Hiccup is going to be leaving us and going back to her mom soon. The next court day is in early march. We have had a super emotional weekend. Our bodies are broken along with our hearts. You can go through all this crazy emotional roller coaster and not pay the price physically eventually. No gray hair so far but I feel like I could sleep till next week! Trying to fight the urge to spiral into a depressed funk. It simply is not right to pack up your babies belonging in preparation to give them to another person. I don’t know if this is similar to the feelings a bio mother has when she chooses to give her baby to an adoptive family. I am guessing it is similar. We did choose this after all. You go into foster care with the hope of adoption but the reality that these babies/ children have a family. We never know if the family will do the work they need to to be able to parent their children. That reality is always right there with every milestone, dirty diaper, “I love you” and visits! We are aware of it but it should never stop you from loving the child like they are yours, attaching and bonding. It is so very important for each child in the system. It is also why there are so few people willing/ able to cope with being a foster parent because the grief when they leave is real and hard and devastating. It is Not right to pack up your baby and had them over to someone else.