It has been a rough week. Four of the six of us have has a virus this past week. We managed to survive it without a trip to the doctor! Yay. Last week end we had all the kiddos again but this weekend we don’t. I over heard what sounded like an argument amongst my girls this morning and headed up the steps to see if all was working out. What I discovered was my six year old in the midst of a complete melt down and I could tell it was a deeper emotion than what the surface problem could have caused. After a bit of therapy mommy style she told me she didn’t want us to have any other foster kids. She said she didn’t want any other foster kids because she loves Rough Nut and Tough Nut so much. She told me all this while a flood of tears poured down her face. My heart broke all over. I hugged her and dried her face. I told her she was perfectly normal and wonderful to feel like she does and that mommy and daddy feel the same way, sad and not ready to move on. I assured her that we would not have any other foster kids until everyone in our family was ready. Then all seemed ok. Except its not! My baby has a broken heart, she is six. I hate it but I am overwhelmed by her love for her almost siblings, so proud of her ability to recognize her grief and to tell me about it. I am a little fearful of what little Hiccup leaving will do to my children. I already know it is going to hurt me but I can’t hardly bear that they are going to hurt also. This is part of it, I know. I will trust that God will heal our family and will bring growth along with the pain.