Hiccup is only a few miles down the road!!

She has been gone for two weeks tomorrow. What a long dark two weeks it has been. We decided (mostly me) to hold off on a visit until I felt emotionally stable. I am on the edge of normal now…I think. That means:

1. I can breath.
2. I am not crying/angry 24/7
3. I can say her name mostly without water works.
4. I am not staring into a void
5. I am ok

I called relative and set up a visit for this evening!!!! I am very excited. I have had a couple of nights full of guilt for not going to see her already and nightmares about how it will go so I am eager to put those to rest. I am also very hopeful that this will begin an ongoing relationship with her family and ours. My children have struggled and are missing her very much so I think this will be really good for them also.


3 thoughts on “Hiccup is only a few miles down the road!!

  1. I hope the evening meeting helps heal wounds. When we lost our first sibling case, I was SO lost. I had no idea what to think, was afraid to ask, balled and cried all the time. My case worker accidentally asked if we’d been going to a nearby restaurant a lot lately (the closest to our house) and we were perplexed. The siblings went with relatives that worked there full time in management. We set out to meet them, and reunited. I was nice to have that healing time, the chance to see our wee ones and note how they had grown (the youngest almost died four days after moving in because the environment of our home was so opposite from her previous home – aka drug exposure). Her lungs got such a shock of clean air, they stopped developing and we literally used cold cloths and tickling for 4 hours to keep her breathing in the ER until a neonatal ambulance could come. Sorry…went way off topic on that. Anyway, God be with you this evening. Hopefully your strength and time away has helped make this a positive event.

    • Thanks. I am totally convinced that the pain and grief would come even if the situation seemed perfect. It is inevitable with being the mom and then suddenly not. She was so precious tonight! Smiled at us and laughed! She was a little dirty and has a cold but otherwise seems healthy and happy. We plan to keep visiting and hope to babysit when they need help.

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