I posted a little while ago about de- cluttering my house. We had the yard sale last weekend. My house is lighter! There were three of us. We sold about $320 worth of stuff. It was a huge yard sale and we priced almost everything .25-.50 with only a few items with higher prices. So we sold a lot of stuff. I think visually that we ended up with less than half of what we started with. Not bad for a yard sale.
To relate this to parenting, foster care, waiting for the next call, our lives always need less clutter. During this time I have with less stress and less mess and less children I have to take advantage and create the space for our lives to change and shift. Most of the preparation for foster children is mental no physical but the physical space seems to help keep the mental space clear as well. At least that’s how it seems to me. Really it’s the same kind of thing as nesting during your third trimester. Now our house is in really nice shape for an addition. There is space in every closet, there are open empty beds and there is room for someone else’s toys. Mostly there is room in our hearts and or lives.
I had one of those dreams that seem to go on And on all through the night. It is pretty obvious one. I am just going about my daily routine then it’s evening and I realize all of a sudden that Hiccup has been dropped of at some point and I hadn’t realized or forgot or something. The rest of the dream is me in a panic trying to make sure she is ok, trying to find diapers and formula and feeling totally out of control of the situation. boooooo
Since Hiccup left I have had a couple of phone calls about her dr. Appointment and a couple of random pieces of mail for her. Most of it has been straightened out by now. This morning I got a notice for having missed her wic appointment. Obviously I didn’t, they did. It makes my mind go crazy with ideas of why or how they could have missed such an important appointment. I know that for them they need that help desperately so what’s up? I hope all is ok. I guess I will be checking on them.
Being content this summer seems to be the goal. Trying to forget the urge to make things happen. I cannot make things happen. I cannot make things happen! Some things, like what we are going to do today, sure. But the stuff I am constantly wanting to control are out of my control. Being contented is the only source of control I have in this situation with Rough & Tough Nut. Being content to wait, content to babysit, content to see and babysit Hiccup… This is all I have right now, maybe forever.
Being content with this situation also gives the the opportunity to be content having a relaxed summer with Thing 1, Thing 2, & Thing 3. We are enjoying lazy mornings and late nights. The girls are interested in sewing and my son is always pursuing his interests. Jones and I are doing our salsa garden. This is good. I can be content. More than content, happy.
Yard sale! I have been decluttering all year. It never ends. If I want a clean appealing home I have to constantly be getting rid of stuff, throwing things out and organizing what must stay. The ever looming possibility that a baby/child or children could come to our home any day keeps me on my toes. I always have empty space for them and their belonging (if they don’t have them when the arrive they will soon). So the annual yard sale I have with my best friend is my restart button each year. This is my last week to gather and purge. So excited!
Jones and I have been becoming more and more okay with our current situation with bio family and Hiccup, Rough Nut & Tough Nut. We have repeatedly offered our selves, our time, our support to them in hopes of staying in the kids lives forever as family friends. It’s been going really well. It’s been hard at times to watch things unfold, to trust that somehow this is going to work out. I think we are starting to see that this is ever bit as important as actually having foster kids in our home. This long two months of free time and no baby in my arms (lots of love and cuddles with Things 12&3!) has been frustrating and wonderful.
Recently we have had several babysitting gigs with the three siblings. Conversations have come up from Relative about what the future for these kids will be. We are totally committed to these children, totally in love with them and have told their family as much. We are always open to them in whatever way that may come to be.